Discount Poetry

I have a low emotional tolerance, 

And I’ve heard that, 

More than once. 

I mean, 

Fuck me if I actually give a shit about the 

Absent father gimmick on a tv show that I JUST started watching, 

But, 

I guess, 

I mean, 

 I kinda wish the kid who had a father who played soft ball with him, 

When he was 8?

Barkeep, 

A martini, 

Ice cold, 

Stirred not shaken, 

Oh god not fucking shaken. 

I drink martinis because, 

The gin brings out the romantic in me, 

The oh-that-fucking-tree-looks-majestic-as- Fuck gene, 

The branches splayed our, 

Reaching for the sun, 

Is a metaphor for our struggle to always reach for what we can’t touch, 

The whole world is a fucking metaphor for all the things you did wrong, 

All the things you could’ve done,

And all the things you’ll probably never do. 

The Vertmouth, 

Oh the Vertmouth, 

The flavored wine represents the different flavors in our life, 

All so different, 

Yet all so same. 

The lemon and the olives, 

They represent balance between sour and well, 

More sour. 

Because if you write poetry, 

You totally can’t drink Martinis 

Because you think James Bond looks sleek as fuck while sipping his drink, 

Stirred not shaken, 

Mind you.

I mean it totally doesn’t fucking matter if life’s looking all up for you,

Tragedy strikes you at 7 am, 

When you really wanna light a fag but oh FUCKKK, 

You’re fasting, 

You can’t smoke, 

And that’s probably the worst thing that happened all week, 

Mind you, 

Tragedy isn’t a competition. 

I mean, 

Honestly, 

Humor me, 

At this point I don’t know why we do this, 

It’s like you can’t write unless you’ve convinced yourself that your life is somehow worse off than it actually is. 

Fuck that, 

Life’s sad,

Because time is money, 

And you have no money to waste,

On building memories, 

Only an empire, 

Of consumption, 

Built on paper piles of printed faces.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Manic Pixie Dream Girl,
Every writer needs a muse,
And every tired soul needs revival.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl,
Her morning starts with caramel coffee.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl,
You think she’s gonna complete you,
She’s some attractive concept,
The idea of which you fall in love with.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl completes you,
No,
Manic Pixie Dream Girl walks into your life,
Turns it upside down,
And “changes” you into a better person.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl has no time to sulk,
Don’t cry,
Look outside,
There’s so much living to be done.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl,
Also happens to be lazy,
And in bed,
But will probably stay awake past her bedtime,
Trying to be “productive”
But occasionally failing miserably at it.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl doesn’t need you,
But it’s nice when you’re around.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl reminds you of every girl you’ve ever loved,
So you know that you’ll never love her,
Just the idea of her.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl looks beautiful,
But that’s not what you notice about her.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl doesn’t become your favourite hello,
Or your last goodnight,
She’s just there,
Until she’s not.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl,
Is an experience,
That not all are lucky enough,
To have.