These days I don't play for free.

I've been wondering where to go with life lately. I've always been a failure at academics. I've never excelled at sports or at clubs. But lately, I've been failing at stuff I've always considered myself to be good or rather, better than average at. I've been loosing. Literally and figuratively. Well, more literally than ever. The anthology I've picked to describe you gradually defies me. I've considered the miles between us fragile as I've always believed that home is where the heart lies. And I'm pretty sure our hearts lie at the same place. But lately, I've been wondering if I left my home way too far behind. This city's been getting to me, and so are you. I don't know where I want to go from here, I don't know what I should look for. I wish I could give up on this, sooner than too late, quicker than too slow. I just want to come back to you. I wonder if I want any of this anymore. I wonder if I remember every last scar on your body like I used to. I wonder if I'll ever listen to your voice again. You know how these crowds unsettle me don't you?

P.S:
I love you.
I miss the way you smell.
Well of course you know that.
Bye.