Metaphors

I have always been afraid of heights,
Just looking down the balcony made me quiver,
But lately I've been hanging on a ledge,
Only this time I didn't shiver.

My knees locked,
My body caved in;
But for reasons apart,
Perhaps a drunken sin.

I dangled from above,
But this time I looked down;
There was no one to save me,.
She wasn't around

I held on with one hand,
I thought of letting go;
The ledge turned to straw,
I couldn't hold on anymore;
I remember falling,
But I looked down in delight;
I had finally let go,
Of my fear of heights.
(and falling)

Next thing I remember,
I am on the beach,
Where the ocean and the land,
Are at hand's reach.

The ocean travels the world,
And it meets the sand,
Only,
To be pushed back again.

The beige sand seems accepting at first,
But it changes its mind,
It gives the ocean a thrust.

The ocean doesn't give up,
It loved the sand,
In efforts vain,
He came back again.

Only this time,
The restless wave lost its might,
It's hopeless efforts,
Fell rather light.

I'm on my roof,
I'm admiring the sky,
The thing about it is,
It doesn't lie,
It is calm in its lilac serenity,
Red in its angry rage,
The sky never hid,
Behind it's blue cage.

The sky looked ethereal,
In its bright sundress,
I loved it dearly,
In dry and in drench.

But my sky,
Shuts me out,
It hides behind,
The darkest cloud;
I stare,
I gaze,
In patience,
I wait;
But nothing.

I stare at the mirror,
I look at myself,
My skin turns pale,
Dear, I need help.

I do not want a life of metaphors,
Anymore,
I am empty,
Depleted to my core;
I do not want to think of you,
My sky;
I no longer want to bear the thought,
That my clouds cry.

I do not want your rage,
I want serenity.

I do not want to be your ocean,
I no longer want to be pushed away,
I no longer want the waves to be,
My heart that sways.

I am tired of falling,
I want the straw,
To be concrete ground,
I want my night's sleep
To finally be sound.

I am hurting inside,
But I cannot show,
I do not want these metaphors,
Anymore.